Rocko vs Lazlo is the twenty-eighth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons series and is the thirteenth installment of Season 2. It was released on March 28, 2014. It features Australian-immigrant wallaby, Rocko, rapping against bean scout, Lazlo.
Welcome to Rocko’s Modern Life! Get ready to feel pain and gain
After this battle, there won’t be a monkey to remain
I do what’s right, you do what’s wrong, so just go away!
You’re just crazy, so I’m gonna take the win, ok?
Camp Kidney? What a disgrace, just get out of this
Come from Australia, crocker, here we got wits!
I can’t even believe I’m rapping a spidermonkey with the IQ of none
I’m not even done with my first verse, mate, and I’ve already won!
You're always going Wacky Delly, your show is a Trash-O-Madness
At the end of this, you’ll be sucking my fucking Suck-O-Matic!
I’m gonna squish you flat like the Acorn Flats, cause I’m going to slam!
and then crack you just like your stupid friend, Clam
Where’s Lazlo? Getting beat by this fellow Rocko
Just go make out with your Spacemates, you’re such a dumbo!
You’ve made a big mistake fighting this wallaby, retard
We all know you ran outta ideas when you came up with Edward
Welcome to Camp Kidney! Where life is better than yours!
Your modern life was canned because it was such a bore!
Your name is just about right, ‘cause your head’s like a rock!
Garbage day is a dangerous day? I don’t give a fuck!
I’m gonna give a spanky to Spunky, and simply make the dog dead
How can I complain? You’re friends with the Bigheads!
This Wallaby Wannabe ain't got shit on me
You're trapped in my lyrical web, call me a spidermonkey!
You got 3 friends? Ha! I’ve got about 15
And your modern life was like the worse I’ve ever seen
Heffer is a fat fuck, and Filbert is always nauseous
I’m spitting out disses so hard, better be cautious!
You we’re meant to be a Woody Alien, what a joke
You act like you’re so brave, I know you’ll die and choke
I’m usually a kind, nice monkey, but not in this fight
When facing me, I’ll always be the winner on the mic
Open mic night is a dangerous night, I always say
Mainly because you’ll lose to ME this day
Just retreat now, you’re a monkey abortion who’s a dick!
Go back to Patsy Smiles, ‘cause this is no picnic
Your lifestyle being better? I HIGHLY doubt that
Considering your Scoutmaster Lumpus is a jackass
I may seem sweet and innocent, but it doesn’t mean you’ll win easy
And by the end of this battle, I’ll rip out your Camp Kidney
Shut up! I’ll fucking get rid of Spunky and make you go berserk
I’ll drown you in the Leaky Lake Games, you stupid little jerk
You’re attracted to your neighbor, but you’ll always be such a loner
I’ll kick you in the Beans & Weenies, and make your modern life over
You’re friends with a fat cow, and a turtle who’s a nerdle
You get pushed around because you’re weak, even by a girl
You’ll be sitting in a mountain of pine cones, man!
The end of this battle is like my final episode, ‘cause this is your last stand!