Mordecai vs Twilight Sparkle 3 (also referred to as Regular Show vs My Little Pony) is the thirty-fourth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons series and is the first installment of Season 3. It was released on July 25, 2014. It features magician and learner, Twilight Sparkle, rapping against lazy blue jay, Mordecai for the third time.
Welcome to Equestria, magically 'gon mess with ya
I'll step on this pedestrian thrice like an equestrian
Sparkling rhymes to eject you from Canterlot
An audience intelligent and elegant, your fans are not
My raps are hot, you wage a minimum amount like your job
I don’t need Golden Oak knowledge to know this won’t last long
Round 1, Round 2, won back to back
When you’re facing this magic rap attack, you’ll be running fast
To your special needs brats at your run-down snack shack
The Ponyville princess of the populace attacks!
All you ever do is sit on Rigby and play games
You and your online girlfriend are gonna wish you never came
Twilight’s lighting the Sparkles that’ll finally burn your flesh
I'll put your prank wars and your popularity at rest
Your friends will be crying, when I send you to your end
Like you when Margaret said she didn’t wanna be your girlfriend
UGH! Did you seriously not get the fact that you’ll lose every time you’ll face me?
You can’t scare me, even if you are a princess with new grown wings
I just live a Regular life and people love me around the nations
You live in a magic world and all you get is some fat losers masturbation
Facing me a 3rd time will just be your final destination
I actually risk my life in my work and I don’t even need a vacation
You don’t even have enough attention just like our intern Thomas
I’ll cook you and combine it with some Mini Toasts and Hummus!
Twilight is your name? That’s probably why people don’t watch your show
Your show is better than mine? Season 3 only had 13 episodes!
You had no chance in the real world and you won’t last here
The only magic trick I want to see out of you is making yourself disappear
I may have messed up with CJ, but what makes you think you can do better?
I’ll kill you in a Flash (Sentry), better write yourself a suicide letter!
I’ll feed these fists and my disses to you, so I hope you’ve got the munchies
I’ll win every time just like video games and a classic game of Punchies
It’s time to get the elements and show you what Friendship is! Pinkie Pie:
Now it’s time to meat your maker! Applejack:
Our fanbase is infinite! Rarity:
You need to go away darling, you’re getting spit in my mane Fluttershy:
Sir, you better leave me alone ‘cause we’ll win today! Yay! Rainbow Dash:
Coming at you so fast Rarity:
call it a Sonic Rainboom Applejack:
You need to calm down Sugarcube, there’s no need to be rude Spike:
I’ve written down your surrender letters Pinkie Pie:
now let’s have a party! All:
YOU CAN’T BEAT THE POWERFUL FRIENDSHIP OF THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!
You think you’re the only one? Well I got a crew of my own! Rigby:
We rapped in some episodes before so how about we have these horses pwned? OHH! Muscle Man:
We’ll take you to the Crash Pit Hi Five Ghost:
Then it will be YOU who will be ghosts! Pops:
Watching you all lose will be a good show! A jolly good show! Skips:
We’ll leave you with broken legs Mordecai:
Good luck when you’re walking Rigby:
You guys are giving me headaches, just please stop talking! Pops:
We can do this easy way Skips:
Or we can do it the Skips way so bring it on! Muscle Man:
You know who else doesn’t like your show? All:
Enough my students, time to show you what you’re not
I’m the princess of the sun, that’s why my rhymes are so hot
Mordecai, you need to leave my faithful student alone
Because seriously, the disses you make just make me groan
And Twilight Sparkle, you shouldn’t battle with blue jays
It’s time I teach this one a lesson on how you both become friends today
I hope you two learned something today, now give me your letters
Now it’s time to get Benson, to show you princess and feathers
MORDECAI! RIGBY! ENOUGH WITH THESE PONIES YOU DORKS!
It’s bad enough that we had to deal with some dumbass unicorns
You’ve been at it three times with this princess pony?
Just like your future lip-syncing band, you’re just a big phony!
All you do is slack off, and it’s making me pissed off
Once I start my yelling, you know when it’s time to stop!
You two need to learn to be friends, ‘cause your fighting makes me tired
Now get back to work, OR YOU’RE FIRED!