Dipper Pines here to take down Finn the Human once again
I know you might be 15, but you seriously look like you're 10
My disses are as strong as Susan Strong, that wannabe She-Hulk
Once this battle is done, I'll crack your deformed skull
When you wear your hat, it makes you look like you have an ugly tumor
You're just a wannabe Flapjack, except no amounts of humor
This is your end Finn, in the end, you’ll be going to hell
I’ll chop you like that time when I went to Taco Bell
I’m gonna fight you like Fight Fighters, so come on, let’s Rumble
You’ll tumble, you’re in trouble, and we’ll do it as a double
I bet your verse is gonna be a waste of time, and it’ll be dull
I mean I don’t wanna be rude, but you have the brains of Waddles
I know I might not get the heart of Wendy, but what makes you think you can beat me?
You’ve been trying to get the heart of Princess Bubblegum from episode 1 to Season 3
You’re more babyish than Time Baby, you’ll never get to date a lady
Maybe if you stop being lazy, get off your ass daily, you’re super crazy, you’ll never beat gravity
Finn the Human:
What time is it? It’s time to kick this sore loser out of this battle
I’m the hero in the Land of Ooo, fighting me is just a hassle
You challenge me to round two? You must be insane
Like seriously dude, the people that watch your show are cray-cray!
Dude, you go on more lame adventures than Flapjack, see
You say I’ll never get a date? But you can’t even get one with Wendy
My show is awesome, just like the mathematical hat
I guess there’s a reason people call you a pussy, you sneeze like a cat
You find mystical creatures 24/7? Well I don’t give a fuck
You’re more spoiled than that little bitch, Pacifica
If you say I have the brains of Waddles, well you have the brains of Soos
You should be falling apart when I blast my raps in autotune!
You’re gonna lose this one, is losing really a bitch?
How can you call yourself a man, when you can’t get your voice to the right pitch
You’re just a lonely 12 year old fag, who can’t spit a rhyme
You’ll be hiding from me in fear once I scream, ADVENTURE TIME!
They call me Dipper Pines because I’m as tough as a pine tree
I could beat you any day and I’m not that manly
Your show actually got you popular? Congrats, have a $-12 dollar bill
You’ll never have anymore adventures after you hear my sister’s rapping skill Mabel Pines:
I won’t be smiling like Smile Dip, here comes Mabel Pines
My brother will win this when we kick your butt Sev’ral Times
I’ll make you bite more than you can chew, have some Gummy Koalas
Now let’s take this kid down! The future is in the past! Onwards, Aoshima!
Finn the Human:
Shmow-zow! Did you really think you can bring out your drugged up sis?
This is low, even for you, is this Pine serious?
You mad kid? My rhymes are getting too hard for you to take
Now just sit back and take a lesson from my best friend, Jake! Jake the Dog:
Dang dude, you need some help beating this Sherlock clone?
I can beat you in a stretch, prepare to be Gide-owned
I’ll be watching my victory, as if my name was Bill Cipher
This bendy slendy dog will finish this by flipping the Dipper!
It’s a mystery how you still think your rhymes are effective
Your show came first? Well guess what? I don’t give a duck-tective
I’ve been learning about the Mystery Shack throughout the summer, what did you do kid?
Don’t even dare spit another rhyme, or else you’ll be Finn-ished!
Finn the Human:
I’ve been fighting monsters and dragons, so learn this!
Your brain is more invisible than the faces of your parents
It’s time I finish off this beating
Making sure this Dip-shit is defeated
I gotta go ‘cause the fans want more
I’ve chopped down your ass, that’s the end of this adventure